i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
