So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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