dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
