i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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