I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
