Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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