I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
