he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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