whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
