you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
