ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
