so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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