you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
