I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
