I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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