They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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