she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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