i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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