I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
