Do vagina's smell?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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