Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
