im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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