Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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