We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
