between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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