Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
