It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
