dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
