He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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