why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
