no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
