Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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