No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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