What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
