My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
