Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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