i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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