OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
