Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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