When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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