i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
