I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
