Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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