So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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