five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
