loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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