the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
