left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Randomize
