Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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