why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
