She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize