OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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