I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You just made me feel so damn special
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
