Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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