I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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