yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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