And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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