worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
