its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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