I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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