the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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