Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
