he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
